|
Maher_shalal_hashbaz
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Jonathan
Country: United States
State: Texas
Metro: San Antonio
Gender: Male
Interests: seeking, struggling after God, and people...enjoying God, and people...
Expertise: you tell me
Occupation: breathing
Industry: living
Message: message me
Member Since:
8/1/2005
|
|
| Kevin Twit, an amazing R.U.F. musician/composer, said that worship songs should reflect a great number of diverse emotions, moods, and themes, since life isn't just joy, peace, and light, but is also sorrow, angst, and darkness. Consequently, no matter what direction my life is going, whether I am feeling entirely secure or completely lost, I can and have every reason to worship in the exact place that I'm in. Rather than having to come to God with the false pretense that I am feeling a certain way when I am not, I can worship right in the place that I'm in, whether that's falling on my knees lost in wonder of the greatness of God, or falling on my knees and crying out to God in distress. Isn't that amazing?! One of the sweetest truths God is showing me right now is that life is worship. Whether working at Twin Lakes, singing and listening in church, drinking chocolate milk at Cups, talking on the phone to a friend at the airport, sitting on the deck of a friend's apartment and talking about life, listening to music in the car at night with the windows rolled down, eating delicious apple cake with my dear sister Rachel and brother Joel as well as some really good friends, all of these things can be, should be, and are worship through the beautiful and powerful workings of the Holy Spirit. Sweet! Man am I glad that God gave us the Holy Spirit! I'm going to be a senior at Belhaven this coming year, and I have no idea what I'm going to do after. That reality used to terrify me; now it makes me really excited. I can't deny that there's still fear inside, because there is; yet, I've never felt more peace in my life. God has held me, loved me, and directed me for 22 years, while taking me through numerous valleys of sorrow and rivers of joy. I am his craftsmanship, His art, created by Him and for Him. Had he not been directing, orchestrating, leading, guiding, purposing, and planning my life, leaving me at the wheel, my life would be a tragic disaster. I don't like to give up control, because I want to be the one who receives the credit, who receives the worship, who receieves the admiration, not the one who lives an unnoticed life of faith, prayer, and worship. But God is teaching me, as He is showing me an infinite amount of patience in the midst of my stubborn, hard heart. I don't know why He keeps chipping away, because I would have given up long ago if I were Him. That's why He's God and I'm not; why He's good and I'm not. That's why I'm so thankful that God is in control of my future, and I'm not; why I am so thankful that my life is in His hands and not in mine. After all, if I was in control, I would make art into a mess. With God, though? He makes art out of a mess. | | |
| Dude, God has put some amazing people in my life. Take, Lydia Goeglein and Katie Shelt. These two girls treat me to dinner at Fennian's, as I had some incredible Irish stew, salad, and bread for dinner. Then they take me back to there apartment, along with Zack Owens, and have an incredible cake with ice cream waiting for me. Wow...I am so abundantly blessed to have friends who are that thoughtful and loving. These girls are always bringing people into their wondrous apartment (The Enclave of Abnormality), and embracing them with open arms and beautiful fellowship. Everyone who goes into their sweet home feels and sees the love of Jesus through how real and welcoming and encouraging they are. What's really sweet is that they are both teachers and are affecting the lives and hearts of so many kids.
What really makes me thrilled to be alive is to see Jesus actively working in people's lives, and what an incredible encouragement to have witnessed the work of Jesus in Lydia and Katie. Thank you, girls, for being alive and for making my 22nd birthday so sweet. I only wish we could have stayed longer.
Jesus, thank you so much for how beautifully and powerfully you work through people, and for the amazing people you've put in my life to show me more of how great and good you are today, as you have throughout my life.
| | |
| There is so much that I don't get, so much sin, failure, and evil in my heart. It is terribly frightening to see how natural it is for me to be completely selfish and messed up, while putting on my favorite 'i'm ok and doing really well' clothes on that make everyone around me think that i'm a pretty decent guy, who's living for God and doing really well in the process. Man, I hate that. I never had to learn the art of sinning; i've been an expert from birth.
Machiavelli makes most students shutter with his terribly self-serving, self-absorbed advice, as he instructs the world how to use people to get the power and possessions we all long for. After reading him, I am tempted to think that Machiavelli is somehow more evil and selfish than the common human, who seems to actually care about others; but the truth of the matter is that I am no different from him. Machiavelli merely voiced what goes on in mine and your subconscious thoughts that we seek to ignore whenever such evil thoughts are brought to our attention, but that we act upon every day without a conscious thought about such wretched motives. I don't want to believe that, but it's true.
This whole growing up thing is pretty absurd. I'm definitely not ready for it. I definitely don't grasp what it means to trust in my God, to trust that He holds my future in His hands, and that His hands are infinitely good, meaning I have no reason to fear or worry. Sure, I can talk about that stuff with the best of 'em, namely the Pharisees; but really deeply, sincerely grasping those realities in my heart is another story. I would much rather worry, fear, and try to take my future into my own hands, ensuring that my life will be what I want it to be by relying on myself. Thankfully, God doesn't see my failure and give up on me, as I would and do to my friends when they mess up. Instead, He is very gradually and slowly teaching me to give up my illusion of control on my life to give myself, my future, my pains, my hopes, my fears, and my desires to Him and His good hands. Man, do I have a lifetime of learning and trusting to follow Him in this, because I always gravitate back to wanting to take control of my circumstances whenever anything hard or negative comes up. Praise God that He is patient and merciful toward me, being slow to anger, while abounding in love. Praise God that He has put so many people in my life to point me to Jesus Christ and to the much greater joy and peace that is found in looking fully to Him over self.
"Spirit of the living God, fall fresh on me. Spirit of the living God, fall fresh on me.
Break me. Melt me. Mold me. Fill me. Spirit of the living God, fall fresh on me."
| | |
|
My brother, you lived, joked, laughed, and persevered as uniquely and gloriously as anyone that has ever lived. Throughout your whole life you battled, and fought like nobody I have ever seen through a countless number of hardships that would have broken any other person alive. You also roomed with me your senior year, which alone proved how brave and valiant a man you were. : ) I couldn't wait to go to Louisiana this semester with Brian and Percy to sit on your porch, drink coffee, and talk about life, history, literature, each of our lives, and, oh yes, taking over the world. But such a time will have to wait, as the battling and fighting are over for you. You're finally home, my brother, no longer having to experience the brokenness and pain of this fallen world. Thank you for showing me redemption and your risen Savior through how you persevered, rested and relied on Christ, never ceasing to laugh and joke about life in the 'midst of it all. God used your pain to show me and so many others the glory of Jesus Christ and his redemption. Wow...what a blessing and priviledge to have known you, Andrew Hilleke, and to be able to call you my friend and brother in Jesus Christ. If I get to be a Dad and Grandpa one day, my kids and grandkids will surely here about the ledgendary Andrew Hilleke and the glorious year I roomed with you.
Until I am called home along with you, brother, rest in peace. Rest in peace.
| | |
| This is an update given yesterday concerning my former roommate, Andrew Hilleke, who is in Houston under intensive care. His condition has worsened considerably, and so I would ask any of you who reads this to pray for him, even to Our great and risen Savior through him all things are possible. May God's smile of love and His perfect peace rest upon all of you, and especially the dear Hilleke family, this Ressurection Sunday. Praise God for Jesus, and the hope and life that we have in Him.
Dear Brothers and Sisters,
Just
a quick note regarding Andrew Hilleke. The doctors have had to give him
numerous transfusions over the last 24 hours because of serious
internal bleeding. The oxygen level in his body is dangerously low and
consequently, he is in very critical condition. Please pray for Andrew
that he might be enabled to trust in the Lord and not be afraid and
pray for his parents, Laura and Jimmy, and the entire Hilleke family.
God bless,
Steve Wilkins
| | |
|
